I have been reading a bit about a mom who's referenced as a 'Tiger Mom.' This is
because she aggressively takes part in the life of her children. She has very high standards for her kids and keeps them busy in various activities. Unfortunately, we live in a society where the mothers of the 'Princess boy' and those others who are permissive in raising their kids. I would much rather see a bunch of parents like the 'Tiger Mom' than those who not only allow their kids to do whatever they want to, but also encourage unhealthy choices and lifestyles. You see, while some may criticize this mother's relationship with her kids, she has their best interest at heart. She is instilling in them a great work ethic as well as encouraging activities that cultivate culture and make well rounded kids. I've said before that we are too lenient on our kids in this country and we wonder why the 'tech jobs' that pay well and require a higher level of education and dedication are always held by people other than Americans. I can tell you why, we keep using the phrases, '…they need to be kids' or '…they need this time to rest'. Unfortunately this is one of those situations where the kids suffer in the end.
You see, we need to get back to the way it used to be when parents were parents and kids knew who was the boss of the house. Today we have parents who desire to be friends with their kids and allow them to make entirely too many decisions that should be made by their parents. I'll reiterate in this posting as I did in the past, parents need to be parents and assure that kids are kids…with a structured childhood. Boundaries show them that they can't simply do whatever they want to, when they want to, how they want to. They show them that they need to make decisions, prioritize and take the feelings of others in to account. They'll know that they have someone who loves them enough to make some decisions for them…in their best interest. Tiger mom I applaud you…keep doing what you're doing and I look forward to the major impact that your kids will have on this society. We need more mothers like you in this country…
because she aggressively takes part in the life of her children. She has very high standards for her kids and keeps them busy in various activities. Unfortunately, we live in a society where the mothers of the 'Princess boy' and those others who are permissive in raising their kids. I would much rather see a bunch of parents like the 'Tiger Mom' than those who not only allow their kids to do whatever they want to, but also encourage unhealthy choices and lifestyles. You see, while some may criticize this mother's relationship with her kids, she has their best interest at heart. She is instilling in them a great work ethic as well as encouraging activities that cultivate culture and make well rounded kids. I've said before that we are too lenient on our kids in this country and we wonder why the 'tech jobs' that pay well and require a higher level of education and dedication are always held by people other than Americans. I can tell you why, we keep using the phrases, '…they need to be kids' or '…they need this time to rest'. Unfortunately this is one of those situations where the kids suffer in the end.You see, we need to get back to the way it used to be when parents were parents and kids knew who was the boss of the house. Today we have parents who desire to be friends with their kids and allow them to make entirely too many decisions that should be made by their parents. I'll reiterate in this posting as I did in the past, parents need to be parents and assure that kids are kids…with a structured childhood. Boundaries show them that they can't simply do whatever they want to, when they want to, how they want to. They show them that they need to make decisions, prioritize and take the feelings of others in to account. They'll know that they have someone who loves them enough to make some decisions for them…in their best interest. Tiger mom I applaud you…keep doing what you're doing and I look forward to the major impact that your kids will have on this society. We need more mothers like you in this country…
Orville P Cottlethorpe IV
It's Just My Opinion But I'm Not Wrong!
2 comments:
I have commented on this subject all over this place because quite frankly, the "Tiger Mom" really chaps my ass. I say this as the half Asian daughter of the Asian "Tyrannosaurus Rex Mom." LOL
I do NOT disagree with the general idea that we, as a society, have become way too indulgent with our children. I am a firm believer in setting a high bar of expectations of your kids; once they reach your expectations, you raise the bar even higher. But, you also have to let them know you love them along the way. Kids who know you care about them and love them will always aspire to please you (and in essence, you have done them a huge favor in life because you've got them on a path to success). The part where I start to disagree is the fact that you do NOT need to denigrate your child to get them to aspire to achieve your expectations. That kind of parenting is fear-based and shame-based. THAT is what the Tiger Mom did with her kids. Yeah, she had their "best interests" in mind - but she sure didn't need to browbeat her kids or make them think they were "less than" when they didn't do every single task right. Kids need encouragement. They do NOT need molly-coddling - and you are absolutely right - they do not need you to be their FRIEND.
You can't take every single little thing they do and praise it as "YOU'RE THE SMARTEST LITTLE KIDDO IN THE WORLD!" Instead, you should let your kid know, "I see you worked hard on that, and that makes me feel proud." THAT is what makes a kid feel secure and will ultimately make them aspire to fulfill your expectations of them. Tiger Mom didn't do so well in the praise department.
I'm kind of a "mixed bag" as far as what my "parenting" beliefs are because I lean a little left AND a little right. I do NOT believe in letting my kid get away with everything - and I am pretty "real" with him - letting him know constantly that I'm the mom and what I say goes. And on the flip side, there is the Social Worker in me who also believes that spanking does nothing but teach a kid that violence/hitting solves problems. I was spanked, yes, and I think it was stupid. I've tried spanking my son - and it didn't work (trust me, he is a HELLCAT and an ass-beating did NOT work). But, now, let me say I'm "disappointed" in something he did - and he's crying like a baby. I have expectations of him, and I let him know when he's not "reaching" hard enough. But, I also make sure that he knows he is loved, he is secure, and that it IS okay to fail, because you learn from that.
THAT is where I think Tiger Mom chaps my ass. When her kids failed - she called them awful names and made them feel bad. That is not good parenting; hell, it's not good "peopleing" PERIOD. And for her to go around "glorifying" that - in my opinion, is inexcusable - I don't care WHAT nationality, color, creed, religion you are.
Sorry to rant so long, R, but this is an issue that has been a sore spot with me for a few weeks now.
Thanks for y6our viewpoint M, it's always appreciated. We do agree on many of the points you made, we should work with our kids to push them and hold them to high standards while offering positive reinforcement as encouragement. I won't comment on my own childhood to much in this regard, but I'll just say I understand. Thanks again. -R
Post a Comment